Player Bios [No Spoilers]
Learn a little bit about your favorite players!
I met with a colonel Nustead in a speakeasy in Brooklyn. I have reason to believe that was not his real name, but at the time I did not question it. He gave me a book, curiously titled – the Mattronomicon. Within it’s pages were dark secrets and morbid deductions, which I read with a mix of terror, revulsion, and fascination. One particular passage has stayed with me these long years, a passage which I will utter expressly for academic purposes: Ph’nglui mgjk’naflffle Matthewlhu R’affle wgah’nagl roltagn
Loosely translated, it reads ‘In his waffle house, dead Matthew waits roleplaying.'”
-From the account of Jethro Henderson, 1942
Tippett was invited to join Melting Plot when there were literally no other options. Every day, the Melting Plot crew looks for Tippett’s replacement, but as of yet, we have had little to no luck. It looks like we’re stuck with him for now. If you know anyone with any skills whatsoever (I mean, we’re literally just looking for a warm body, you know?), please reach out as soon as possible at firstname.lastname@example.org.
(Rachel, was this suppose to be a bio?)
Instead of banishing her, she was instead bound eternally to a hobby shop in Oregon, where she still resides to this day. Patrons of that hobby shop reflect on the haunting laughter which emanates – mysteriously it seems – from the far and unpopulated recesses of the warehouse. Others suggest that Rachel is biding her time there, and slowly and methodically developing her dark skills. Regardless of the truth, ancient texts seem agree on one thing: the end times will coincide with the completion of Rachel’s stamp collection – and there’s only one stamp missing…
As a caterpillar in the cuttlefish rebellion against human rule, Zach found a special niche in being a land animal capable of breathing the air in the enemy territory. Naturally, recognizing the opportunity, the rebellion issued a large number of special operations to Zach in order to subvert human authority. While many of the missions remain behind classified and/or top secret permissions levels, it wasn’t long before Zach began designing missions of his own. It is not unlikely that he has already chewed holes in your human plant gardens.
As one of the first caterpillars to outrank many cuttlefish in their own organization he was invited to speak at the prestigious Summit on Earth Sovereignty, in May of 1966. It was at this gathering that he boldly declared the statement for which he is famous today: “My disgust for humanity lies in their complete refusal for metamorphosis”. While this statement became ubiquitous among the caterpillar populace, the cuttlefish community raised severe objections. The vitriolic response established Zach as the controversial caterpillar he is today.
Otherwise he makes Music:
In many circles, Jeff is considered something of a thingamajig. He first discovered his “gifts” at age 52 during a brief stint in the village of Hogsmeade, though what he saw there changed him irrevocably. Eye witnesses speak in whispers of the events therein, if they speak at all.
Jeff was last seen on the 31st day of April, in the year 2016, where it was reported that he entered a shop of curiosities, and he was never seen again. The more reasonable accounts of that day suggest that Jeff was killed during an alchemy experiment, but others tell of a more sinister account, which we shall not utter here. Regardless, one thing is certain… the corpse of Jeff now walks among us, hellbent on destruction through storytelling.
Characters played by… [Spoilers!]
If you want to experience the surprise of character reveals, don’t look!! You’ve been warned!!